Sunday, September 21, 2014

Toddler Teach Me Moment #1

Sunday, September 21, 2014

I had what I like to call a "toddler teach me" moment a while back. You know the kind, where you try to teach your toddler something and end up learning something yourself.

 I'm even going to get real with you. I was just shy of 8 months pregnant and it was a daily battle to feel beautiful, especially when even your maternity clothes are just a little too tight,  you carry around a few extra stretch marks, 60 extra lbs, and your face has more hormonal acne than skin cells. This is not to even mention as a mom, you have to schedule in your showers and don't even get me started on shaving over the beastly belly!

My oldest asked if she could, "do me up" one day and I agreed. I fully believed that it couldn't get much worse but let me tell you, it could. My second daughter also got in on the action with a little shimmer eye shadow and enough lipstick to paint a barn.

I thought I would use that moment to teach my daughter that it isn't what is on the outside that counts. That no matter how much purple shadow she had on, if she had a bitter, icky, unforgiving heart then she was still ugly. I continued on with the fact that no matter how much makeup she put on, underneath, she was still "Gracie" just like I, five solid shades darker than normal, was still "muh-muh." But the more I spoke to her, the angrier I got. Probably because I didn't believe a word of it.

After my fingernails.. er.. fingertips..all got layers of different colored polish, she decided she was going to watch a movie. I used this opportunity to baby wipe my face off. As I stood there in the bathroom removing the only tan I have ever had, God started to pull at my heart strings.

Moms, we're beautiful and I'm going to tell you why.

Because when you have kids, you become humble.. and that is "precious in the sight of God." I'll tell you something.. My mom is beautiful. I've never seen her in make up. I have never seen her in anything other than a turtle neck, my dads hoodie, and faded jeans from 15 years ago. But to me, she's even more beautiful than the woman wearing skinnies, perfectly curled hair, and barn red lips. Because my mom is humble. She's the real deal. My mom will have the flu and still make you pancakes. My mom is a servant and is always last.

That's Jesus, and we call him "beautiful."

The second baby wipe took off that bronzer to reveal my red dots, pasty, ten pounds rounder face and I stared at myself for a good minute.  I became overcome with the junk that I carried. The make up I don't have the time to wear couldn't cover the shame in my heart . My insecurity to the marks that no one will even see. I prayed that God would release me. To be joyful and whole. To rejoice in the work he is doing in the lives of his moms.

We have so much more to focus on than how tan we are or if after baby three can we still wear those jeans from ten years ago (dont lie, we all have that one pair we "might get to wear someday" at the bottom of the stack...)

But what God finds beautiful, more than our ability to wake up at 5:30 A.M. and paint ourself (and believe me, I am a firm believer in getting done up to attract your spouse- but thats another post.. I'm also not condoning being sloppy but I am trying to promote realistic beauty.) He wants us to us to have a gentle & quiet spirit, a humble heart.

He gives us moms kids, less time, and more responsibility, to learn to be last. Because moms are beautiful in their lastness. Because the mom who has flour in her hair, take out after work, and who settles down after a long day and thinks.. "Did I even brush my teeth today?" is learning to be like Jesus.

And as my fifth baby wipe hit the counter and I reached for the polish remover, I decided, "No, actually, I like my ten different colored nails and I'm keeping them." They remind me that what is beautiful is how I serve my kids and my husband. That the inperfection of toddler painted nails, is much like Gods work in our life. Hes not going to quit perfecting us until our last breath. And he has a head start on his moms.

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